~The importance of frame control.~

Many times I see young children with mothers. The kid misbehaves, the mother reacts aggressively towards the child. I notice it in poorer neighbourhoods in greater frequency then well off ones.

The child is setting the frame.

The mothers reality here is weak. She is reacting to the child. She is not doing her job correctly. She probably works too much, her husband is probably a dick. She is stressed and living in the past, in the future, in the soap opera that she watches on tv.

Her own life is a soap opera. She flitters to and fro.

All this could easily be changed with her taking a step back, accepting the childs frame, but bringing the child into her own self initiated positive frame as opposed to reacting to the childs negative ego driven frame.

Negative mothers are in large part responisble for the creation of faulty ego's. Negative fathers too.

An old lady I know. Went home one day to find a huge criminal looking male in her house. She of course was scared. Would he try to kill her? Would he take her treasured belongings?

The frame for these few seconds was his. A cornered bear is dangerous.

She could have run away. She could have screamed. These acts would have potentially got her killed. They would have been reactive. She would have been entering the intruders reality.

But this old lady, she has her own unshakable reality so she asks him.

'Are you ok? Would you like a cup of tea and a chat?'

They had tea together. They talked a while about his problems. They talked about her problems. He left.

Now I'm not suggesting being nice to people who intrude into your property. I'm suggesting you take a firm look at your behaviour. When is it reactive, when is it initiating? When is it that other people set the frame and take you into their reality, when is it that you set the frame and let people share with you yours?

If you've been living in the now suggested in the previous post you're going to notice a lot of the things you do, that used to think you did according to your will, were entirely externally caused, they were reactive they were not initiated by the self.

You often will notice your self shouting back at some one. You're going to watch your self shout back. When you never wanted to. It's usually on auto pilot.

It is not very Jedi. You let your self be dragged into their reality. It isn't usually conscious.

I'm not saying you should go about asserting your self everywhere non stop. I'm saying when there is someone who's reality, who's frame, is beautiful by all means let their frame mingle with yours, but when there is someone whose frame is ugly why let your self enter into ugliness?

If you go to night clubs much you're going to notice it a lot. I view them as a speeded up microcosm of society as a whole. The people are many, in a relatively small space. Inhibitions lowered due to alcohol, drugs, the dark. You would be surprised how a seemingly hostile group can be drawn into your reality, brought in line with the frame you set, follow you about the whole night and all it takes is effective frame control, which results from the energy you exude, the body language you exert, the words you speak.

Of greater importance then the what is the how.

As supposedly enlightened Jedi it's important to recognise when it's good to let others frames mingle with yours and when to eliminate their frame entirely and in its place put something else.